I have been cheating, using another journal to document my thoughts on life. It felt better to start new; too many ghosts in this journal. It represents a different, younger part of my life and self. I do find it amazing now to look back and analyze where I was to where I am now. Oh the growing pains!
It is surprising how much has been packed into the past two years. The experience has been the most intense and amazing, educational and changing. Time through life has hardened and softened my values and understanding of who I am. It feels good to know what you’re about, and to have a faith in where you will go. It brings an inner peace that is seen in my reflection, it does not even need to be explained; my troubles of the past just melt into laughter at my second glance into them.
It is funny how often I get moments that completely change me these days. In a single week I may look back multiple times and comment how much different I feel because of some new thought, new experience, or new goal. It is an inner change; a depth growing inside that keeps re-understanding and re-defining, moving one step up each time.
And I needn’t lose any of my previous self to move forward – subtraction and division are not often my tools – addition and multiplication are my loves. I stay who I am with a new added awareness, simply growing, multiplying, and taking things to and beyond their limits. I do enjoy being a personal limit-breaker, if my passion so desires to be expressed beyond its current state.
So, my conclusion thus far is life is good. Oh so good! And how blessed I have been to know whom I have, to have met all of you. I certainly love the effect each person plays in my life on this Earth, and appreciate every moment I have left. When at pause, when inside myself, the world is so beautiful. It’s still funny to get caught up in the emotional drama that perpetuates the world, the steam that moves this hunky engine of humanity forward. It’s mad, this world, but I love it too. Maybe I’m mad!
I will end it here, but perhaps another day when I feel like reflecting, I will peer into the journey of my past, this crazy mountain I climbed some time ago. The view is beautiful from up top, the breeze is amazing, and yes… the lemons are free.