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Aapov

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Oh, wow [12 Aug 2009|11:28pm]
This is funny. My old journal. It's been such a long time... what the hell happened?
I've changed. It feels like I've lived several different lives already, with different selves
completely unrecognizable to the others.

What a beautiful, naive, optimistic, loving fool I was. In the best of ways. I love my old
self. I'm just more hardened now. I get it. Life. It's hard. And it hardens you.

To be or not to be: In reality or fantasy. In reflection or action. <-- That may seem random,
but hang on, I'm getting there. My greatest epiphanies always happen in the middle of a
conversation with a good friend. That's when I feel most passionate.

I need people. Friends. Someone to care about what I'm talking about in order for me to
go there and really care myself what I'm talking about.

Not that I don't care about my thoughts, but it takes that extra motivation or feedback loop
or whatever to get me excited enough to start talking about my views, which then, as I
speak, actually develops them. Maybe I don't talk to myself enough.

Great idea I had the other day in conversation: We have two vastly different natures. That
of reflection (thinking, the infinite world of thought) and reality (singular, active, in the
moment, determined by the events on the ground).

We like to think we are "reflective" creatures of deep thought, but the truth is, most of the
time we are not. We are in the moment. We are active creatures attached to specific tasks
or whatever we are doing.

This is not a bad thing. We're just like that. That's us. We are in the moment (not deep)
most of the time, then a smaller percentage of the time, we dive into the unlimited depths
of thought and reflection.

Whether we like it or not, we are being active probably 80% of the time. During this time,
we often get distracted by trying to "think" about what we are "doing." But really, we are
just doing, and those little breaks into the deep end do us no good. It's called being
unproductive.

Reflection, deep thinking, this is a luxury. We don't need it all the time. We really only
need it to plan out events, or decide, "What am I going to do next?"

My idea was to make at least 51% of my actions productive every day. To stop thinking
so much and just dedicate myself (at least 51% of the time) to following a plan. To
accepting my in-the-moment nature, my lack of depth, and just be a worker bee.

Which is more important, our active or reflective self? Both are important, but we are
more active than reflective. Reflection only NEEDS 20% of the day, so if you think in
terms of quantity over quality, our active self is more important to focus on. We need
to embrace this self most of the time.

The luxury of thought comes later. At the end of the day, when things are winding down,
perhaps at sunset, I reflect on my actions and how they connect to my overall plan.

Every night when I lay down to sleep I think first, "What am I going to do tomorrow, and
for the rest of my life?" Every. Single. Day. Over time this evolves, my plan becomes more
real. But I don't spend 80% of my day on this. Just maybe 20%. I formulate less, apply more.

80% of the day is dedicated to being in the moment, attached to reality -- not the
hypothetical reality of mind.

That's it for great idea of the day from conversations with friends.
1 yay! I'm the wiener!

Sitting Still [06 Apr 2008|12:02am]
We are never truly ourselves until we are at pause. Deep within self-reflection, we put ourselves together. I searched outside myself for knowledge about life, about self, but in the end I realized I never needed to look outside. All life lessons are taught by reflection on nature. Reflection on our nature provides insights into it, as does reflection on everything. To guide ourselves by applying our minds to the universe and our lives instead of things outside ourselves. Everything we need to know, we already know.

I used to strive and think we needed more crazy experiences or life-changing ideas. But the truth is, we have everything to begin with. We need less crazy experience, more stability and time to contemplate. Everyday experience trumps even this higher level contemplation. What is the point of any philosophy or belief when it is not connected with real life? The basic laws of life are already understood by the spiritually evolved, the ones who have been taught by their being, harmonizing themselves within, and in fact this is more important. Things like family, love, not killing, extending your joy and respect in yourself to all others are understood completely when personally taught by life. Just sitting, reflecting, and appreciating what is in front of us teaches so much.

Life moves incredibly fast and we must work on a higher level understanding than the moment to survive. Interacting with reality teaches us how intelligent we need to be to participate in this universe. Life is a constant interaction of forces, and to understand their nature, to predict their interaction, to work with instead of against, this is what life naturally teaches us. Reality is the best teacher of all, and we can learn from it just by reflection on our own being and the nature of the universe. The experiences life gives us are gifts, lessons, reality, and the whole point all in one.
I'm the wiener!

A little entry to my journal about myself [05 Dec 2007|01:23am]
[ mood | peaceful ]

Hello my live (well, dead) journal! Such time has passed since I truly gave this journal a shot at my true thoughts. Today is a good day to try. (that's no Star Trek reference =\)

I have been cheating, using another journal to document my thoughts on life. It felt better to start new; too many ghosts in this journal. It represents a different, younger part of my life and self. I do find it amazing now to look back and analyze where I was to where I am now. Oh the growing pains!

It is surprising how much has been packed into the past two years. The experience has been the most intense and amazing, educational and changing. Time through life has hardened and softened my values and understanding of who I am. It feels good to know what you’re about, and to have a faith in where you will go. It brings an inner peace that is seen in my reflection, it does not even need to be explained; my troubles of the past just melt into laughter at my second glance into them.

It is funny how often I get moments that completely change me these days. In a single week I may look back multiple times and comment how much different I feel because of some new thought, new experience, or new goal. It is an inner change; a depth growing inside that keeps re-understanding and re-defining, moving one step up each time.

And I needn’t lose any of my previous self to move forward – subtraction and division are not often my tools – addition and multiplication are my loves. I stay who I am with a new added awareness, simply growing, multiplying, and taking things to and beyond their limits. I do enjoy being a personal limit-breaker, if my passion so desires to be expressed beyond its current state.

So, my conclusion thus far is life is good. Oh so good! And how blessed I have been to know whom I have, to have met all of you. I certainly love the effect each person plays in my life on this Earth, and appreciate every moment I have left. When at pause, when inside myself, the world is so beautiful. It’s still funny to get caught up in the emotional drama that perpetuates the world, the steam that moves this hunky engine of humanity forward. It’s mad, this world, but I love it too. Maybe I’m mad!

I will end it here, but perhaps another day when I feel like reflecting, I will peer into the journey of my past, this crazy mountain I climbed some time ago. The view is beautiful from up top, the breeze is amazing, and yes… the lemons are free.

9 yay! I'm the wiener!

the test of life [04 Oct 2007|05:36pm]
[ mood | thoughtful ]

Some asstard broke into my car last night and stole my beautiful $1,600 Yamaha M08 piano. At first you can imagine I wasn't pleased, but right now I couldn't be happier. I feel like some sort of freak human with magic powers, but it is more simple than that. It's about affirming life through consciousness and not letting external events become more important than your self.

THE SECRET TO HAPPINESS: recognizing the power we have in ourselves to transform experience through affirmation.

Today reminded me how true and important this is. When it happened I thought, "How unfair and stupid. Why should I give a fuck about that guy?" But that feeling was rejected by my digestion the moment it came up. Instead I realized something else. I thought of the poor degenerate who stole my piano for his self-gratification and wondered, "Am I so different? Is my quest, my experience so much more important than his?" And for a brief second I was pleased because I knew somewhere his happiness in stealing my shit and my happiness over his joy made the entire situation affirmed.

I felt some level of appreciation outside of my ego, outside of my personal experience, and into the realm of all experience -- where his perception, my perception, and your perception all reside. Each of us are connected subtly beyond our notice, because we each experience different bodies -- but our consciousness is not so different, experiencing the same fields we value in ourselves. I found my personal bias for those fields of consciousness extended beyond my own experience, and created a love within me, a joy, that stems from other, all other, experience.

If my stolen piano situation were to affect me then it would be stronger than I am, and more important to my consciousness -- but I make it important -- without my reason or 'self' to 'know' or even experience this situation there would be no care or affect in the first place, so in a sense, I, by the mere fact of my existence, am making this important... and why? When put to the choice which is actually more important -- me or the piano? Obviously it is ridiculous to let that situation harm me. It's ridiculous for any situation for that matter!

Even in loss, in sadness, in being wounded by human weakness I felt extreme waves of negative emotion that I not only appreciated having, but overcame each moment to create a sublime strengthening emotion that felt like joy, power, or energy. The negative was fuel to the fire, so to speak. I couldn't help but laugh in the end and calmly try to work things out.

So I lost $2,100 and wasted time and energy working for it -- that may be so, but at least I'm still alive to experience existence. And if that be the case, should I cloud my consciousness by becoming my sadness, anger, or attachment to material things? It is the nature of the universe for things to come and pass, and all things -- from our deepest relationships to the stolen piano -- will one day end; family and friends die, things break down, and everything has its time. The only thing we have with us to our very end is ourselves. We are not alone because we always have ourselves.

What is within us is the only real thing we have that can never be taken, never be lost, and joins us in death. In a way, we are our own partners through our existence, our own best friends, our closest relationship, the source of our love. So should I value this material thing, this "terrible situation" more than myself, and harm myself by becoming my negativity? No! I shall not be compromised over such trivial matters! Seriously! It's not worth it -- the worth of any of the material things we buy, or even the time and energy we spend to get these things, is only of value because existence, living, our experience is valuable. What is the point to life? Is it your money, or the things you buy with it? Is it making the time you spend working actually pay off in some way? Are you really that justice-oriented? Surely all these things matter less than your experience, and in fact, they only matter for your experience. All these things are entirely related to and for us anyway -- without us, it should be worried! But us without it? Who cares, I say!

In the big picture we're all just entertaining ourselves that things outside ourselves matter. We do it to enhance our own pleasure out of life, and that's beautiful -- but we shouldn't let our own paradise get to us. We should never compromise ourselves and let the things we love, the things we buy, or the things that happen to us own us, control us, or bring us down. We value our enjoyment, so let's enjoy ourselves already and stop being so attached to what comes to be and passes away! It's the moment, the experiences that matter! It's you!

1 yay! I'm the wiener!

Moving on [02 Sep 2007|10:25pm]
[ mood | amused ]

I'm happy to get rid of the past. We grow new layers beneath, not over, what we were and shed our past instead of covering it up. If you harbor it in and say, "See, the past is me, and must be you too!" you are confused. All that indicates is you haven't shed old layers, even if you've grown into a new one. Which is just nasty, if you want to get visual about it.

In any one moment you are what you are. If that includes regret, drama, or whatever negative emotion you have towards the past, then you in that moment are currently defining yourself by the negatives in the past. The keyword there is you -- you are doing that. The past isn't still happening -- it moved on long ago, but you still harbor the negativity from it?

We can shed the drama of worrying about or regretting the past, and still retain the positive information and feeling from it. In some ways, we need to recognize the past, for it is of value to our future -- what we have learned, etc -- but the emotional baggage associated with the past? All that needs to be shed, it's an echo of a moment long since passed, and not even worth your present contemplation.

If you can get over yourself and transform what you think about the past, you'll probably be better off in the now, and more prepared to meet similar situations in the future. But what is now is of far greater importance and we should recognize the affect our thoughts and emotions regarding the past have in creating how we feel, think, and perceive now. Does it cloud your vision of life being awesome, and you being happy? Scrap it. Does it promote and remind you of how great you are and awesome life is? Keep it!

But stop whining about or living in the past, you general group of people who do that! No matter how great or terrible it was, it's gone, and what's important is the moment now.

4 yay! I'm the wiener!

.. enter the mind of aaron for 2 seconds .. [20 Jun 2007|03:52pm]
[ mood | depressed ]

Life is awesome, I don't care what anyone says. If you think otherwise, you're delusional. And you might see ME as the delusional one, drunk with joy and love. Well, fuck you! haha. I just have to ask, do you ever feel clarity when in a shitty depressive mood? When you think that life sucks? If you do, seek help. Clarity, for me, only happens in feelings that overcome fear, love life, and feel strongly good. When I have those Ah-ha moments or satisfying sighs of good, the point is clear: life is awesome. Overall, yes > no. But why am I convincing you to the good side? I don't even believe in the good side! I'm more of a dark good side person myself, but that's just me. I like the dark and the light, and I'll tolerate gray to a point. Heh. I have no idea what I'm on about. I just felt like typing, haha..

1 yay! I'm the wiener!

One to remember. [19 Jun 2007|03:43am]
[ mood | rejuvenated ]

halloumi cheese, al qaeda, amazing birds, little britain, aaron, yes?, earthquake drills, endless smiles, youtube, music, voicing, phones, sunsets, stars, hilariousness. Ah, my god. That... was refreshing. Haha, these icons.. I feel like a dinosaur with a hoodie! wha? that makes sense. Most things from the past that I didn't care about never came around twice, but the deepest moments I've felt from my past have. Today was exceptional. I feel more than satisfied, I feel like I felt something I hadn't felt in ages. Wow, I love today. haha. I'll try to remember my dream tonight and write it down tomorrow.

2 yay! I'm the wiener!

Eye of the I quotes [05 Jun 2007|11:51am]
A few helpful and interesting quotes I read today from David Hawkins book Eye of the I.

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I'm the wiener!

self-talk [03 Jun 2007|04:52pm]
Concise Self-Talk

Perfect Motivation - It's as if love is the non-resistant way to change or manipulate something in a way that is always happy and better.

Beautiful Unknown - It's almost as if the more you know, the more you realize what you don't know, and when you reach a certain point, the unknown is so infinite and beautiful that it is unimportant to know everything, but ever-interesting to know everything you can.

Meaning? Wtf, I Am Meaning - All things that happen, if not meaningful, are still necessary. But even if they're not meaningful, we make them so. If anyone else, God, nature, or the universe wants to give us meaning too, that's nice, but isn't what I rely my meaning on.

You think too much. Over-analyzing context, under-appreciating value.

Love isn't as destructive as you think. You were as destructive as you believe.

Friendships are the most personal impersonal relationships you have.

Life will seem only as forgiving and accepting as you are.

Depth is tragic.
A perspective holds as much value as it has depth of appreciation.
Tragedy is the price we pay for value.

When religion appreciates value, it has value.

Sometimes emotions do not have meaningful reasons. But we can always create reasons for them - emotions create their reasons by influencing reason.

Most importantly, ice cream is pretty good, but otter pops are way better.

Melissa is someone you should catch up with!

Brigid ran away on her horse and while you can see her silhouette in the distance, let the sun set and sleep it over. Oh, you have? Then wake up and appreciate the new day. You have? Well, do it more. APPRECIATE MORE SUN!

The secrets to life, what a funny concept. Everything is a secret before we find it out. What makes secrets is they're hard to find. The key to perfect life happiness, is that hard to find? Is it hard to be inspired? Yes, it is. Life is good, but life is also terrible! I can hardly grasp the suffering we have without a crippling feeling for mankind. In that same sense, the absolute strength and power of our joy, our love -- it seems even all the suffering melts away into this, even if in appearances we see otherwise.
7 yay! I'm the wiener!

Good movie [28 May 2007|10:48pm]
“The present is gone. Fantasy is a part of reality when you take the brakes off. We’re thinking clearly yet not thinking at all.. and this feels right. We stop trying to control things.. warm rush of chemicals through us.. we’re fluctuating. Is this brain damage?

We forget all the pain and the hurt in life.. we wanna go somewhere else… we’re not threatened by people anymore.. all our insecurities have evaporated.

We’re in the clouds now. We’re wide open. We’re spacemen, orbiting the Earth. Heh, yeah, the world looks beautiful from here man. We’re nympholeptics, desiring for the unobtainable.. we risk sanity for moments of temporary enlightenment.

So many ideas, so little memory.. the last thought killed by anticipation of the next. We embrace an overwhelming feeling of love. We flow in unison. We’re together. I wish this was real. We want a Universal level of togetherness where we’re comfortable with everyone. We’re in rhythm. A part of a movement.. a movement to escape. We wave, good-bye. Ultimately, we just want to be happy.. heh, yeah. Wait hang on.. what the fuck was I just talking about? Ahaha..”

-Human Traffic
I'm the wiener!

Ecrasez I'infame [16 May 2007|10:26am]
"Jesus wept, and Voltaire smiled; and it is from this divine tear and this human smile that the glory of modern civilization is compounded."
-- Victor Hugo
I'm the wiener!

just vomit away your problems, hah [01 May 2007|09:59am]
[ mood | cheerful ]

I had a really weird moment yesterday.

I was contemplating things and in a bad mood in general, chewing over old terrible times. You know, not exactly the best thing to do, but I had a certain emotional rock that was sitting in my digestion for a while. On this particular day that rock was hitting me harder. I was ANGRY, even! Which is bizarre. That's the first time in at least five months I've felt such a feeling for so long. How taxing!

After sitting for a few minutes I left the roof garden I was contemplating at and walked through this outdoor mall downtown. At this point, all my negativity made me utterly sick. I was sick of being sick with it. This must have compounded my negativity, or transformed my feeling in some way. I was hit with a huge and sudden nauseous impulse. My body (perhaps influenced by my mind) completely rejected this negativity I was willing on myself.

I could hardly walk it was so dehibilitating. I started to sweat, and got really cold. I stumbled over to the bathroom, which was up a flight of stairs, and just collapsed and threw up in their toilet for a few minutes. It was one of those completely gut-wrenching times. I couldn't even believe it! I wasn't even sick, or anything like that. I hadn't even eaten anything (it was mid-morning).

Afterwards, I felt completely fine. My blood temperature became normal after a few minutes and my head returned to normal :P In fact, better. There was this voice inside my head (no I'm not crazy, it was my voice!) telling me, rather dictating to me how I am, and what's what. Among "what was what" was a deep forgiveness and understanding. An 'awareness' that seems so obvious, but I had been clouding myself from. It just wiped away the clouds covering itself, and now it's so clear it hurts!

I think I threw up my rock and took a huge breath of fresh air. And it feels great.

3 yay! I'm the wiener!

P(m)S: Deceptive Friends = Weak Bitch Natures [30 Apr 2007|09:49am]
[ mood | pissed off ]

What is a P(m)S, you ask?

Girls PMS and I P(m)S. While us males don't have vag's to complain about, life is never short of complications. Sometimes I have periods. Periods of discontentment, of anger, of frustration! I build up this tension and release it all at once, if I can. Sometimes I have to hold my tongue. But who says I should hold my thoughts online? And so I started P(m)S'ing when I felt it was necessary. Almost always I don't feel exactly as I write in P(m)S rants, usually it just expresses one short-sighted aspect of anger, but bluntly attacks creating really good points. That's the nature of bitching. And so, this is one I wrote at the end of April. I just reread it and laughed, so I want a copy of it here.

Read more...Collapse )

2 yay! I'm the wiener!

To Whom The World Has Become Estranged: [15 Apr 2007|12:49pm]
[ mood | chipper ]

What bubbles inside of you? You bubble inside of you! And what are you? An entire world – you have many climates, species, and life on your world! Your emotions create the climate, and thoughts create the life. Experience and the external world – this is the Other, the Beyond! The stars, and the infinitely large realm of space – how big it is in relation! This is your beautiful unknown; your humbling possibilities.

Imagine a sunlight that heals all wounds, starlight that inspires within at the core of your being - would you not become a star? We limit ourselves to preordained orbits around suns we never choose. Seek your own star, your own orbit, and fuck it, change constantly! Be an adventurer of the stars! A planet hopping planet! Yes, we can be that ridiculous!

We, of all things interstellar and incomprehensible, are not limited by laws – except this one – what laws!?

1 yay! I'm the wiener!

Mountains and Ants [13 Apr 2007|09:45am]
[ mood | amazing ]

Conscious Mountain: The Will- I am a becoming. You become through me. In secret, I provide you with protection and purpose. Yet unaware of my existence, because I out-exist you -- unaware of my influence because you bounce off me. I am the conscious mountain beneath, through, and in fierce opposition to all that I am not. One day I will as a mountain reflect your views.

===

Ladies and gentleman, Lend me your ears! (Cue scene from Robin Hood Men in Tights) But honestly, those ears are the only ears I get these days. One's thrown at me. It seems such ears are only good for throwing! Hello ants! If only you had the capacity to listen! I stand in fierce opposition from a mountain top. Opposition to what? Is it good enough that I stand atop a mountain with an opposition? Who can even say this? What stands as my peer, my advocate? Who is even worthy as an adversary? I need adversaries, competition, equals and more; I see no hatred or contempt in enemies, in my strict opposition (in thought and action), for it stimulates my becoming. I am a superhero, and I miss my villain; or at least have grown bored of him! My villain is inanimate, useless, a mere joke. This is not my villain, this is the waste that comes from my production; a steam engine leaves a trail of confusing smoke in its wake. Then who is my adversary, my worthy adversary?

To stand on a mountain with an eternal opposition is to merely have a solid foundation of values and perspectives that realize themselves, even as they evolve – they are difference, they are self-created, and they are active forces that contain within them my deepest power, my innermost spirituality of feeling is expressed and has life. This is just what I am. I am one of few living animals walking in a sea of dead leaves, broken twigs, and even worse, inbred twigs and leaves! (And you thought leaves couldn't get any worse, didn't you.)

Looking out, I watch as others avalanche their thought processes by building on the sides of unstable mountains, or even in the deepest caves and emptiest valleys. All this watching makes me deeply sympathetic, to the point of love – but now it is not love without joy; humor as the Gods call it; as Gods have a charmed smile, a silent joy (their laughter) over man, I feel charmingly amused over others, not in malice, not because they are stupid, nor because I am better, but because they are themselves, necessarily themselves; it is truly something to be revered and laughed at!

I reach out and find nothing, so I reach inward and create my own. This has been my experience – the outer world has driven me inward, but I suppose necessarily it has done this. In going inward I stopped negating – I realized reaching out is always a negation, for it is always a repetition of the same and goes through two processes (your reaction, then creation); no difference, nothing new is being created, you look for things in terms of reactions; to go inward and stop negating, that was the true transformation; one must pull from affirmation, from something new to feel any life or passion at all.

The world is spread out in two great axes consisting of power and force. All we see – phenomena, things, organisms, societies, consciousness – are signs or symptoms of different forces acting and reacting upon each other. This dance between forces is going on even in our psychology, no, especially in our psychology! The thing is, we are our psychology, so we are these reactive and active forces – since forces are always acting on each other, they are not one unified force, but an infinite multiplicity of autonomous forces, their relationships between each other creating new and old forces; active and reactive.

Power exists in terms of affirmation and negation, scope and relation. That which is affirmative in each force is powerful, and this has a scale of exponentially greater power in relation to negation, the less powerful, subjugated aspect of each force; the old, degenerative aspect of life. There is so much to be said on power and force, affirmation and negation. I advise, follow affirmation and figure it out! I caution, one must be an adventurer, explorer, entrepreneur of the spirit to do it!

One final thought to sit on: We are always our own self-reference point. What do you think about that? Do you know what it means? Everything is reflected in you, and in that, you are everything.

I'm the wiener!

The silly problem of suffering on a human level - [08 Apr 2007|12:25pm]
At first it's like "Oh shit, oh shit, this is a huge problem we have on our hands!! We can never escape suffering! What is this problem of suffering and how do we deal with it?" And so we whine and suffer, and then suffer a little more. But seeing suffering as suffering is so incomplete a view; suffering as it matters for suffering; so what about that! Suffering – as it is a means to other good things, we shall see this as more important, and in fact INFINITELY more important as the good is so exponentially greater, stronger, and better, and by the very nature of things! We don't even have to change a thing; this is just the way things are you sufferers of suffering! The way things are is for suffering to be beautiful, comical, and useful because of its intimate relationship to its savior: the Good. We need but realize this to feel its implications, to crush suffering and negativity as a cosmic joke in comparison.

Because here's the beautiful thing: Suffering implies its own solution by its very nature; Read more...Collapse )
I'm the wiener!

A thought that needs to be heard [05 Apr 2007|07:18pm]
[ mood | cheerful ]



Star friendship. - We were friends and have become estranged. But this was right, and we do not want to conceal and obscure it from ourselves as if we had reason to feel ashamed. We are two ships each of which has its goal and course; our paths may cross and we may celebrate a feast together, as we did -- and then the good ships rested so quietly in one harbor and one sunshine that it may have looked as if they had reached their goal and as if they had one goal. But then the almighty force of our tasks drove us apart again into different seas and sunny zones, and perhaps we shall never see each other again; perhaps we shall meet again but fail to recognize each other: our exposure to different seas and suns has changed us. That we have to become estranged is the law above us; by the same token we should also become more venerable for each other -- and the memory of our former friendship more sacred. There is probably a tremendous but invisible stellar orbit in which our very different ways and goals may be included as small parts of this path; let us rise up to this thought. But our life is too short and our power of vision too small for us to be more than friends in the sense of this sublime possibility. -- Let us then believe in our star friendship even if we should be compelled to be earth enemies.

I'm the wiener!

Intuition and Motivation [27 Mar 2007|02:30pm]
Of Intuition and Motivation

For several months now I have slowly been contemplating reason vs. other motivations, and how perhaps it may be best for reason to take a secondary role in comparison (and in combination) to other methods of evaluation, namely, love, joy, and intuition. It may be reasonable to reason that there are better things to strive for than just reason in life, and thus, in our evaluation of life, and living of life.

This line of questioning began when I came to see that reason is the relationship, the in-between, the non-material; to put it another way, reason is the objective tool we use to connect events, it needs objects, and thus our reason always relies on its context, which are the objects it is reasoning about (the relationship between objects): it doesn’t tell us anything teleological, subjective, or meaningful about the world, it simply connects events and explains them objectively, reasonably; this is the nature of reason! Anything else deeper than the explanatory value of reason is a different category altogether; it is not reason, though reason is within it, perhaps even integral to it.

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Needless Suffering and the Value in Negativity [22 Mar 2007|02:28pm]
Suffering is as much a mental phenomenon as it is a physical one, and we are quite unstructured in our mental dealings with even our own internal affairs; we suffer from our reactions to emotions, or even other thoughts.

We can shed much of this needless suffering if we align our rational self with nature, and not strictly oppose or eliminate, but rather transform the feelings and thoughts we have against nature, and accept and see them as they are useful thoughts to us; as they are us. Let me explain.

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I'm the wiener!

A Case: For Vegetarians and Well-Being [08 Feb 2007|08:59pm]
"Until we can answer the question as to what matters to people other than experiences, that does not also apply to animals, we cannot reasonably justify our treatment of animals."

The past several weeks I have eaten vegetarian. Around December 22nd or so "I" had a complete revolution. My vegetarian diet was an indirect consequence: I didn't think about it until later, it just happened. I decided to choose what I put in to my body, and that comprised of lots of fresh vegetables. Almost every "meat" I encountered was unhealthy, really. Not to say my intuition is perfect, but it guided me through research and experience, to toss out most processed meats for their content and the nature of their production. It's guided economically, unfortunately for our health and morals.

After a few weeks I started to question our treatment of animals. In Red Dwarf's "Better Than Life" book Lister is about to stab a giant cockroach from the garbage planet for food, but before doing it, stops and says, "I am a reformed species. No more killin'." I thought about that for a second.

Proposition: If we could replace our diets with one that did not kill any animals, why not?

Objections seem to be a) taste: I like the taste and texture of meats, b) it's healthy:the protein I get from meat is a part of good living, c) it's natural: killing other species for food is a natural process, and thus morally acceptable, especially because d) animals have no consciousness of their lives, only instinct and experience, and without consciousness they have no concept of time or wants or desires. With no desires, they are indifferent to whether or not we kill them for food.

However, many of these problems are either inadequate or could be fixed. For instance, what if we could recreate not only taste and texture, but its content of protein? In fact, we could make it even more healthy with the help of science. All it comes down to is the concept of c) killing is natural and d)animals are indifferent. Both of which are inadequate.

Since humans have a higher awareness than animals, it is wrong to justify human behavior with animal behavior. For instance, it is quite normal behavior for female black widows to eat their male counterpart after sex, but in human behavior this action is bizarre and unthinkable. Just because an animal may kill for food, and just because we used to, does not mean that we necessarily should. This is a decision we must make in this day and age of understanding.

Furthermore to say animals don't have feeling is ridiculous. Even animals have a type of memory and range of feeling. For us to judge this, or any life, as insignificant because it does not equal our own is misguided. It lacks respect for experience and life.

Even if we do eat animals, doesn't it follow that if we value our own experiences and life, when we create life (that has feelings and experiences), we should value it enough to give it a pleasant experience? Our treatment is completely negative and even abusive. If animals have any range of feeling or experience of enjoyment, this most certainly is on the lower side. For such higher creatures of consciousness, we treat animals with indifference.

Do animals care? They don't seem to be revolting, because they don't know enough to revolt. Do they know enough to want? The moral dilemma is this: since an animal cannot decide for itself because it doesn't know enough, is it the obligation of the higher creature to decide for it, with what an animal would want? Or, do animals simply not know enough to want: thus, just living is sufficient? If animals don't have wants they would have no response to pleasure-pain. Since they obviously do, animals do want pleasure, and avoid pain, just like humans. In this sense, even if we do eat animals, should their life not be at least pleasant? If that is their only instinctual want, is there experience not important? If animal experience is unimportant, then our experience must be justified as more than just our pleasure aim. If morals stem from reasonably distinguishing what emits positive and creative forces, and life affirming values, we must ultimately reflect this with our actions in reality.

Speaking in human terms: If you could live 1000 years of either agonizing pain, or absolute happiness, but after each scenario lost all memory of those years, does it matter which you would choose? Afterwards, surely it would not matter, but if you could knowingly choose between the two, you would choose happiness obviously. The moment still matters while it happens, regardless of whether or not you know about it. I like ice cream, even though after I eat it, it is gone. Does this concept apply to animals? They would never know, like our situation, but if they did, they would surely prefer a pleasurable life.

In today’s society, it really doesn’t matter. We are surely not ready on the whole to give up our instinctual pleasure that has bonded with meat. Our ancestral background grew up on this meat, so what right do we have against that? Well, our ancestors also violently killed each other over territory, like animal packs with our tribal groups. Have we not evolved beyond this violence? Even if it is a part of our nature, this is to say, if you believe violence is a part of our nature, it is still in our benefit and rational interest, as a higher thinking species to assimilate, or transfigure this instinct into a higher one; in other words, to master it, and not let it master you.

In the end, if our society is ever to evolve into one of action by our affirmative and positive values, arrived at mutually and expressed individually, then at that point, we will have to align our actions of whatever morality, virtues, or appreciations, of love, respect, reverence, or harmonizing we come to with consistency in our actions. Surely, in the end, our instinct to kill and take life away as opposed to promoting it will be replaced. We are not guided by our material, base instincts any longer. A higher instinct: intelligence, has taken hold, which bred the ability to distinguish between positive and negative values evolving through society and communication, with individual breakthroughs in science and philosophy leading one to affirmative, life-positive and promoting values, and are the essence of well-being and robust health, of sparking creativity and true individuality, of happiness, art, religion, and contentment. If this is our goal, our actions must align. After evaluating it, it seems as if this is an untimely view in this age, on the whole. That’s nothing new, for me, and I think any creative soul could at least understand the prospect.

I’ve honestly decided, after today, not to eat meat for some time. I ate Panda Express today because my friend, who I helped get out of a traffic ticket, bought me it for lunch. I ate their Orange Chicken, and even as I ate it, it felt strange going down: all the grease and the meats now unfamiliar texture was almost harsh. I didn’t think about it at the time, but afterwards, I felt nauseous, and while digesting it, threw up because of it. I was just amazed and perplexed. I was either pissed off that my body was unhealthy enough to process meats proteins, or whether whatever in meat is this strong to produce such a repulsive effect from my body, which is actually completely healthy and full of energy! I have my daily protein and eat a healthy diet, so what couldn’t I process with this meat? Perhaps it was the grease, for it was Panda Express, but none-the-less, the meat did not sit well at all, and quite frankly, I would not miss it in the least. I would say I disagree with the mainstream process of most meat, but am not morally vivacious enough to claim immorality on any of it. It is guided economically, and we are selfishly guided by our individualistic claim to human morality as all morality. Even if it is misguided, it is necessarily so at the moment, thus: it matters not in our society, until we individually evolve.

Anyway, this is my experiment, guided by my common sense instinct for respect towards life and my health, which will be reasonably conducted, to attempt a reasonably vegetarian diet, one more healthy, with adequate supplements and protein. I think that change would be for the better, for with better health brings more energy, which is the main ingredient in well-being, action, and satisfaction. After some time of this, I am not disagreeable to eating meat in the end. Simply the process we currently have, for most, nearly 90% of all meat, is against what I think my body would agree with. On another level, my own thoughts on the "morality" is a societal physician revealing a symptom of hypocrisy between thoughts and action, and thus, being and action. Personally, I am not against death, and eating meat as a result. Even cultivating and bringing about life, for the ultimate purpose of continuing our life cycle is a natural process: but life has made it cruel and competitive, to which, we no longer have to be. If life was pleasant, such a life at all would be better than no life, especially if it were pleasant at that! Respect for our food, what a concept! Right now we are too individual, too egocentric, to evolve our awareness beyond our own perception, a move from the material self into the rational self. Our process I disagree under the pretenses of if we were a higher species, but we have yet to grow to that level, so I excuse our ignorance as a condition, a symptom of the times, to which hopefully, our spiritual cure is on the way: spiritual as that which links our mind and perception with everything around us, one of self-realization of ones relationships with others, the universe, and oneself, finally expressing itself in positive actions.
3 yay! I'm the wiener!

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